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Writer's pictureMatthew Keylock

Ganja have a great time!

Geoff CBD-apes

Now before I start todays blog entry I need to get one thing completely clear. As you might have already guessed today I'm writing about CBD (if you don't know what that is we will come to that a bit later) and MY relationship with it. I am not going to be one of those annoying idiots that tells you every chance they have that they are taking CBD and push you into taking it for your headache, stubbed little toe and tell you it's a MIRACLE CURE for everything.

NO NO NO! that's not what this is all about. It's about CBD & Me, my personal findings and experiences. I'm not going to push it on you, not going to tell you it's a miracle cure just some honest results.

Now to start I love the reaction some people have when they know I take CDB, and I always get the line 'GOD! You must be HIGH all the time'.

CBD in simple terms is marijuana (you know the Ol' Wacky Backie) the 'gourmet' tipple of the upstanding Jeremy Kyle guest. Now in elementary terms marijuana is split into 2 base chemicals THC and CBD. THC is the part of marijuana that makes you higher than a giraffe's vagina. The CBD part of the plant is the part with 'healing properties'...and that is the bit I take.

There are many inventive ways to get CBD into your body. Vape (e-liquids), rubs, creams, gel, sweets and oils to name a few.

I didn't set out on that faithful day to buy CBD. My back/shoulder was completely destroyed back in August and with the whole COVID thing going on I had as much chance of getting a doctors or physio appointment as Oscar Pistorius has of getting athletes foot. So my family recommended that I go straight to the pharmacy and speak to a pharmacist. Now your local pharmacist might be the next best thing since a Greggs festive bake.....but mine was S.H.I.T (She Had Irrelevant Training) and only offered me paracetamol (because I hadn't thought of that) and she just repeated herself about them like she was Long John's Parrot.

Then as I was leaving the pharmacy defeated I noticed some long white containers of cream with CBD written on it. 'What about that stuff?' I asked her pointing at the containers. 'Unfortunately I cant give you any information on that product' she replied. I was for a moment baffled. I knew roughly what CBD was and realised it was a herbal remedy.

Now many years ago I used to manage a Health Shop and remembered that because by law no herbal 'medicine' have had their potential medical properties clinically verified. So in layman's terms because herbal products don't go through official medical trials you can't put on the label what it helps with or cures...ergo you shouldn't or can't tell people what they potentially do.

So I left and my wife and I did our own research on CBD....and JESUS CHRIST!!!! when you type 'What is CBD' into google...it's bloody minefield of opinions, 'research' and peoples very pushy views...the good, the bad and the fuggley!

So after a brain enema from reading google's results I decided to give it a go. I was in pain and had a little girl to look after and I was willing to try anything at that point (I was upset that Walter White didn't live in Saundersfoot).

Now the internet clams that CBD is (and i'll use the word again) a MIRACLE cure for EVERYTHING!!!! Well the jury is still out on that but I did buy and use the CBD cream. In the previous weeks I had tried Deep Heat, Tiger Balm, Voltarol Gel mixed with Paracetamol and Ibuprofen with very little or no effect.

Then we come to the CBD cream...I was very sceptical and really not expecting much from the liquid ganja....but I was more than pleasantly surprised!!

Within 20mins of applying the cream the general constant dull ache that had been plaguing me for weeks had gone...Yes! GONE! I generally could not believe it. My back and shoulder still felt stiff, but general arm movement that I had struggled with previously was greatly improved. Did the CBD make me pain free? NO!....Did it massively reduce my pain? YES! Far better than anything I had tried in past weeks.

But there is a downside to this almost fairytale ending...the effects didn't last very long!

Within an hour it had started to wear off...so I applied more....and then more!

Now this 'Magic cream' is not cheap (£50 a tube) and if you have to keep applying it on a very regular basis then it becomes a very VERY expensive pain medication. My first tube lasted me just under a one week, which isn't very ideal for my wallet during this 2020 pandemic.

'There must be a better way' I thought. So with some more detailed research I possibly discovered that if you combine the cream with an oral CBD the effects should last longer. So I ordered some CBD gummy sweets. Now these little 'Gummie Bears' make you feel naughtier than Donnie and Marie's night time exercises. They are sweets that aren't sweets if you get my drift and although their not they felt like they should be sharing a plate with some Hash Brownies Haha!!!

Now to cut a long story short...it worked!

The Gummies in fact work on their own without the cream (money saver) and last longer too! Not only do they help with my pain but I also find they increase my overall mood and wellbeing on a daily basis.

Am I still in some pain? Of course I am, but do I find it easier to get through the day while taking the gummies? (and now oil) YES!!!! a BIG FAT YES!!!

Am I going to tell you to go and take them? No!...I have no intention of pushing it down your throat (no pun intended) like some made up religious cult telling you that you can be 'saved' if you do as I say and say as I do!....and all for the very reasonable fee of £99.99 a month. I didn't even know 'celestial beings' needed earthly money....Oh! yeah I forgot did your cult leaders enjoy his semi-annual trip snorkeling in Barbados.

.....anyway!

Do they really work that well? or is it just a Placebo effect?....The truth is I don't know, but I do know that it helps me and thats all that matters. Peace Out!!

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